HELP! My Wife Has No Sex Drive: What Can I Do?


Did you know that over 50% of women have issues with sexual functions, be it in their marital lives or even as single women?

These issues can vary from loss of arousal, feelings of pain during sex and even low sex drive. So, your wife has no sex drive? Hasn’t she been as sexually motivated as you are?

Relax, it’s not the end of the world. Every relationship goes through dry spells like this. You suddenly feel your partner isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore. These sorts of things happen, and they can be fixed.

Through this article, we are looking at the factors that cause low sex drive in women. We would be weighing solutions to increasing sex drive. And, what you can do as a man to solve this problem.

Causes of low sex drive in women

Before we look at the causes of low sex drive in women, it is essential to note that men generally have a higher sex drive than women. So, your partner might not be on the same sexual plane as you every time.

You should know that several factors can cause low sex drive in women. As a loving partner, you should be less concerned about how your partner reacts sexually to you. You should be concerned about how you can solve this problem together or individually.

Let’s look at the causes.


The level of estrogen significantly drops during menopause. This makes your wife less interested in sex. It causes shriveling vaginal tissues, which results in painful sex. This happens in more than 40% of women.

Stressed and fatigued

Being stressed is a total mood killer. Come on bro, you know how you get when you’re tired. That’s how your wife feels after a long day’s work. Stressful situations can naturally lessen the body’s sexual urges.

The stress of the day’s work can have a big effect on how sexually responsive your partner will be. Imagine a scenario where your partner wakes up early to prepare the kids to go to school. Her vehicle had a flat tire on her way to work.

Stressed and frustrated, she got to work to meet a nagging boss who demanded more than extra. Maybe the photocopy machine even stopped when she needed a document duplicated. She got home tired after a long day’s work, yet she made dinner for the family.

Naturally, you cannot expect such a person to have the drive for sex. All they want to do at that moment is rest and prepare for the next day’s work.

Emotional distance

The great outflux of emotions and feelings between you two is what keeps your relationship going. Once there is emotional distance, there is a break-away in intimacy. Let’s be scientific for a moment. Studies have shown that women are more likely to engage in sexual relationships with someone they are emotionally attached to.

So, having resentments, fights, and being emotionally distant from each other will affect your partner’s sex drive significantly.

Psychological trauma

It is very important to note that incidents and history can affect your wife’s sex drive. I was with my partner one evening. We were joking around and having fun. I mentioned a word, and I noticed her mood suddenly changed.

She told me later that I said something that made her remember a bad time in her life. That’s how easily you can bring up traumas of the past unknowingly. You need to discuss it with her and be open to each other.

Poor communication of sexual needs

How often do you and your partner discuss sexual preferences? Do you think you know it all? Trust me. You don’t. You need to communicate each other’s needs sexually.

If you are not willing to know what she wants sexually, it shows that you don’t care enough for her. This will result in sexual distance.


Some medications can diminish one’s appetite for sex. Prescription meds for heart failure, high cholesterol, blood pressure, seizure medications, mood disorders, and mental illness have huge side effects on sex drive.

These medications are common, and it is very important to ask your doctor or physician about the chemical effects before taking them.

Solutions to increase sex drive

The factors explained above, and others that weren’t touched can be treated. You might wonder if any possible solutions exist to increase sex drive. Well, there are solutions to this problem, and we are going to look at a few. First and foremost, as a man, you must be extremely understanding of your partner.

Speak to a therapist or marriage counsellor

This is one of the most important things you can do to save your relationship. First, you need to talk to your partner for you both to recognize that there is a problem on the ground that needs solving.

You should consider speaking to a certified therapist and a marriage counselor.

They can help bridge the gap between you and your partner, whether emotionally or physically. They will teach you how to be mindful of each other’s needs and provide tips you can use to make it work.

Alter Medications

One of the causes we discussed above was the side effects of certain medications. You should alter the dose or even change those medications to increase your sex drive and foster a more intimate relationship between you and your partner.

Talk about your sexual fantasies

You should try to be as vulnerable to each other as possible. Talk about each other’s fantasies. Ask your wife/partner what she desires to do sexually.

Talking about each other’s unexplored fantasies can create a sense of being safe and comfortable. Even if you don’t act these fantasies out, you know that you are both completely safe and open to each other.

Plan romantic dates

Plan romantic dates with your partner. Create some alone time for both of you. This way, she knows you are still that romantic she fell in love with, and you still care a lot about her.

Women want to be reminded how much they love them. Not doing things like that might cause an emotional distance between partners which in turn leads to a low sex drive.

Address underlying medical & health issues

As mentioned earlier, mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and traumatic history through former relationships PTSD can cause a loss of sexual drive in women.

You should address such issues and consider seeing a certified therapist. This way, your partner can confront such problems and heal from them.

My wife has no sex drive. What can I do about it?

As a man and partner, there are few things you can do about the problem to increase your wife’s sex drive. You can do something to spice up your sexual relationship with your partner.

Try a sex toy

For example, if your wife has no sex drive, one of the solutions is to try a sex toy like a male masturbator. This way, you can make sexual interactions between you and your partner more interesting. Let’s look at a few of these things:

Improve your game

One of the reasons your wife/partner might have a low sex drive is because sex is boring. She doesn’t want to participate in something repetitive and always go the same way. You’ve got to improve your sexual game then.


You can engage in more foreplay so that she can be well stimulated before penetration.

Alternative means: use a sex doll torso

You can also make use of sex dolls for practice. Most people don’t know much about sex before they even do it. You can improve your skills using a sex doll.

Although the issue of having a low sex drive for women is a spoiler in a relationship, and some of these can be caused by health conditions that can’t be changed, one solution for you as a man is to make use of a realistic sex doll torso. This way, you are not cheating on your partner, and you are keeping your relationship alive.

Final Words

My wife has no sex drive. What can I do?

I hope the causes and solutions help you.

Increasing your wife’s sex drive is a long-term process. You need to be patient and support her.

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